Life Beyond Monogamy
The Signature Program for Exploring Non-Monogamy with Honesty, Depth & Real Support. 6 Modules. 8 Live Calls. A Real Community Living This Too.
Welcome,
love pioneer
You know monogamy isn't enough anymore. You just don't know what to do about it.
Maybe you fell for a coworker on a project you couldn't quit, and spent months telling yourself it was nothing. Maybe your partner found something you wrote and never meant to show anyone. Maybe you're just lying awake asking why one person isn't supposed to be enough for you, when it clearly isn't.
You're not confused about whether something needs to shift. You're stuck on how to shift it without blowing up your life, your family, or the people you love.
This isn't a course that tells you what to want. It's the structure, the tools, and the community to help you find out for yourself, and actually live it.
Shame, silence, and fear are keeping you from loving the way you actually want to.
But there's a version of you on the other side.
When you're finally saying the true thing out loud, to your partner, to yourself. No more midnight AI talk, no more rehearsing the conversation you never have. Just you, rooted in what you actually want, supported by a community of people who get it instead of judging you.
IS THIS YOU?
You've had a crush that turned into something more, and spent weeks Googling "is it normal to have feelings for someone else" at midnight, ashamed, telling no one.
You worry that if you open this door, you won't know how to close it again, or that you won't survive what your partner finds on the other side of it.
You've done everything the books say. Date nights. Therapy. A salsa class together. And you noticed you were more turned on by the instructor than your own partner, and felt guilty the whole drive home.
You keep asking yourself if this desire will ever go away, and some nights, you genuinely wish it would.
“I’m so used to thinking in terms of me and someone else—like me and my partner, me and this person—but your questions brought me back to just me. And instead of going into what I need to improve or fix, it became more about how I want to show up in my communication and relationships. That felt really grounding.”
— HBG (client of Thorhildur)
HI, I'm Thorhildur - wife, BOY mom & polyamorous for over 8 Years
And I’ve been exactly where you are.
I was 17 when I met my husband. The first five years were easy, then we had our first son, and everything got harder. I fell for someone else while swearing to myself I never would, wrote it all down on a piece of paper just to get it out of my head, and folded it into my jacket pocket instead of throwing it away like a normal person.
He found it looking for his keys.
That's the moment that changed both of our lives forever, and it's not the ending you'd expect.
We've been happily polyamorous for over 8 years now, and more in love than ever.
This program is everything I've learned along the way, poured into one place, so you don't have to learn it the hard way like I did.
HI, I'm Thorhildur - wife, BOY mom & polyamorous for over 8 Years
And I’ve been exactly where you are.
I was 17 when I met my husband. The first five years were easy, then we had our first son, and everything got harder. I fell for someone else while swearing to myself I never would, wrote it all down on a piece of paper just to get it out of my head, and folded it into my jacket pocket instead of throwing it away like a normal person.
He found it looking for his keys.
That's the moment that changed both of our lives forever, and it's not the ending you'd expect.
We've been happily polyamorous for over 8 years now, and more in love than ever.
This program is everything I've learned along the way, poured into one place, so you don't have to learn it the hard way like I did.
AS SEEN ON
INTRODUCING
LIFE BEYOND MONOGAMY
Trauma-informed. Tantric. Personal. Structured. Action-oriented.
Six modules that take you from figuring out why this is calling you in the first place, to actually living it out loud. Paired with LIVE group calls where the real transformation happens: in conversation, in community, witnessed by people who are living this too.
Inside the Modules
Module 1
Clarity on your why
Before anything else, we get clear on why you're here. I'll share my own story of tucking away my bisexuality for years, then falling for a teammate while happily married, and how that became the doorway into everything I teach now. You'll learn the real history of monogamy and walk away with the Five Whys exercise to get honest about your intention.
Module 2
Finding your relationship structure
"So what are the rules?" This is where we build your ideal love container. I'll cover the biggest mistakes people make when opening up, then give you my full Needs Map, from sexual variety to spiritual connection to belonging. We go through every relationship structure that actually works, so you find the one that fits you instead of grabbing a label and hoping it holds.
module 3
Mistakes, triggers & jealousy
This is the highly anticipated "But aren't you jealous?" module. I'll tell you about the night my whole body lit up watching a lover walk off with someone else, and exactly how I moved through it. You'll learn the six types of jealousy, the difference between guilt and shame, and tools to turn a spiral into information instead of a five alarm fire.
module 4
The art of talking about it
Non-monogamy rarely falls apart because of the other person. It falls apart because of bad conversations. I'll show you how my husband and I used to spiral, and the formula we use instead: one person talks, one truly listens, no blame given or taken. You'll get my Clarity Script and my Regulation Toolbox to prep before any hard talk.
module 5
Shadow patterns & personal development
This is the module I tell people they have to watch before dating anyone new. We're going into the shadow patterns that quietly wreck good intentions: veto power, the one penis policy, unicorn hunting, or using a partner as a placeholder. You'll get the tools & techniques I use to truly understand myself so you can spot your own patterns before they cost you someone you love & care about.
module 6
Living proud and out loud
How much of this life do you want to bring into the rest of your world? I'll tell you about the night I knew this would become my mission, and what it costs to keep a part of yourself hidden. You'll learn the real stages people move through when you come out to them, and how to hold your ground with love.
CLARITY ON YOUR WHY
Module 1
Before anything else, we get clear on why you're here. I'll share my own story of tucking away my bisexuality for years, then falling for a teammate while happily married, and how that became the doorway into everything I teach now. You'll learn the real history of monogamy and walk away with the Five Whys exercise to get honest about your intention.
FINDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRUCTURE
Module 2
"So what are the rules?" This is where we build your ideal love container. I'll cover the biggest mistakes people make when opening up, then give you my full Needs Map, from sexual variety to spiritual connection to belonging. We go through every relationship structure that actually works, so you find the one that fits you instead of grabbing a label and hoping it holds.
mIstakes, triggers & jealousy
Module 3
This is the highly anticipated "But aren't you jealous?" module. I'll tell you about the night my whole body lit up watching a lover walk off with someone else, and exactly how I moved through it. You'll learn the six types of jealousy, the difference between guilt and shame, and tools to turn a spiral into information instead of a five alarm fire.
THE ART OF TALKING ABOUT IT
Module 4
Non-monogamy rarely falls apart because of the other person. It falls apart because of bad conversations. I'll show you how my husband and I used to spiral, and the formula we use instead: one person talks, one truly listens, no blame given or taken. You'll get my Clarity Script and my Regulation Toolbox to prep before any hard talk.
shadow patterns & personal development
Module 5
This is the module I tell people they have to watch before dating anyone new. We're going into the shadow patterns that quietly wreck good intentions: veto power, the one penis policy, unicorn hunting, or using a partner as a placeholder. You'll get the tools & techniques I use to truly understand myself so you can spot your own patterns before they cost you someone you love & care about.
LIVING PROUD & OUT LOUD
Module 6
How much of this life do you want to bring into the rest of your world? I'll tell you about the night I knew this would become my mission, and what it costs to keep a part of yourself hidden. You'll learn the real stages people move through when you come out to them, and how to hold your ground with love.
WANT TO JOIN US?
After this program, you'll walk away with
01
A rooted, grounded sense of yourself: the confidence to tell your partner what you actually want instead of rehearsing it in the shower for the tenth time, and the courage to stay in the room when the conversation gets hard instead of shutting down or storming out.
02
A community of people in similar circumstances, so you stop being the only "interesting story" at brunch with friends who just want the gossip, and start being seen by people actually living this too.
03
Real clarity on what you actually want, not what you think you should want,whether that's one deep partnership or several. Plus the language to name it out loud, so it comes out as "here's what I need" instead of "you never do anything for me."
04
Knowing exactly what to do when the real-life moments hit, the jealousy spike at a party, the trigger you didn't see coming, the 2am spiral, as well as how to actually savor the bliss and the love.
05
Practical tools you'll use long after the course ends: the Clarity Script, the Regulation Toolbox, the Needs Map, and the exact scripts for the conversations you've been avoiding.
Testimonials
Before working with Thorhildur, I had feelings for someone that was not my husband and I was so scared to ruin my happy marriage.
During our coaching journey, I have gained confidence regarding all aspects of my polyamorous life and have no fears anymore about hurting my marriage. Þórhildur has helped me work through deep childhood wounds that my new relationships were triggering in me so there has been a huge breakthrough there. I have in the process gotten much closer to myself, learned to love my self deeper and find security from within.
- Hildigunnur
I was a typical male, in denial about my feelings, sexuality and gender. My journey was starting but it was slow and without direction.
Throughout my journey I have been able to get in touch with my feelings, myself and my desires. I have managed to express myself better, deal with repressed feelings often resolving them giving me much needed peace and quiet.I'd recommend her to anyone that struggles with expressing their feelings or sexuality. To anyone that is looking into challenging social norms and opening up to the possibilities that the world has to offer.
- Óli Már
THE LIVE CALLS
The course is the spine. The calls is where the magic happens, friends are made and shame melts with connection.
Each module comes with a live group call where we go as deep as we can, together. Get coached live, join a breakout room, witness someone else's breakthrough, or just send your question ahead of time and have it answered on the call. However you want to show up is enough.
Call Schedule
Sep 21: Module 1 — Why Am I Here?
Oct 5: Module 2 — What Is Possible?
Oct 12: Module 3 — Mistakes, Triggers & Jealousy
Oct 19: Module 4 — How to Talk About This Stuff
Oct 26: Module 5 — Shadow Patterns & Personal Development
Nov 2: Module 6 — Living Out Loud & Proud
Nov 9: Closing & Celebration Call
Call Times are 5pm GMT, 10 AM PT. Replays available.
You'll also get access to our private community channel to keep the conversation going between calls, so you're never sitting alone with a hard feeling until the next Monday.
JOIN the founding round
Your investment: 497€
6 Video Modules with support resources
6 Live Study Group Calls for each Module (optional)
1 Closing & Final Celebration Call
Private community chat for ongoing support between calls
All module bonus resources: The Five Whys, Needs Map, Clarity Script, Relationship Spectrum Regulation Toolbox, and more
CHOOSE YOUR OPTION
This price is only available until our Kickoff Call on August 24th. Once the next cohort opens,
the self-study course alone will be €497, with live cohort calls priced separately on top.
SELF-STUDY COURSE ONLY
6 pre-recorded video modules
7 Live Group Calls for each Module
1 exclusive Founding Kickoff & Group Activation Call
Private community channel for ongoing support between calls
All module bonus resources: The Five Whys, Needs Map, Clarity Script, Regulation Toolbox, and more
One Payment
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Frequently Asked Questions
Will this course try to convince me to become non-monogamous?
No. My intention is never to convince you of choosing my way, it's to help you get clear on what's actually true for you. If you land on monogamy, chosen consciously instead of by default, I celebrate that just as much. This course gives you the tools either way.
How do I know if I'm actually non-monogamous, or just unhappy in my relationship?
There's no quick answer to this one, which is exactly why we spend real time on it. A quick signpost: if you feel more ease and aliveness with friends or coworkers than with your partner, that's usually an intimacy gap, not a monogamy problem. If the option to connect with others feels expansive and more like yourself, even when it's not about any one specific person, that's usually pointing somewhere else. We go much deeper into this in Module 1.
What if I can't make the Live Calls? Are there replays?
Yes, replays are available for all Live Calls and will live in your course portal. So you don't have to worry if you can't make every call. I'll also provide a form for you to submit questions ahead of time that I'll answer in the calls, if you can't come live.
Do I have to do this with my partner?
No. Plenty of people move through this alone first, especially if they haven't started the conversation yet. If you're already talking about this together and it feels grounded, doing it side by side can be powerful too. Either way works.
Is this therapy or relationship coaching?
No. This isn't a substitute for therapy or coaching, and it won't heal deep relational trauma or save a relationship that's already collapsing. What it will do is give you context, language, and tools most therapists were never trained in for this specific territory. You can message me if you want to apply for coaching.
What happens after the founding round?
The doors for the Live Cohort close, the price goes up, and future rounds will run with new dates. There will also be an option to buy the self-study course alone for 497€. Founding members pay 200€ for the video material AND the Live groups + have access to a lifelong community of Love Pioneers.
What if I'm single?
You're in a great place to do this work. Singles often move through this faster because there's no partner's pace to negotiate around, you get to build total clarity on what you want before you ever bring it to someone else.
Can I participate anonymously?
You can. The course is self paced and does not require your name. If you decide to join the live group calls I encourage you to show your face but you are welcome to remain anonymous.
What if my partner isn't interested, or says no?
This course won't convince your partner of anything. What it will do is help you get honest with yourself and communicate clearly, which is often the thing that actually opens the door of connection and truth.
What if I fall in love with someone else, or my partner does?
This can happen, and it's the heart of Module 5. Falling for someone new doesn't automatically mean loving your existing partner less. It's one of the biggest myths monogamy sells us: that love only comes in a fixed amount. You'll leave this course with real language and real tools for this, not just reassurance.
How do I stop feeling ashamed for wanting this?
Shame doesn't come from nowhere, it comes from specific beliefs you picked up somewhere and never examined: that one partner for life is the only moral option, that wanting more means something's wrong with you. We trace exactly where that comes from and how to actually loosen it, not just push through it, throughout the course. Being a part of a group of like minded people usually melts shame away.
Are there refunds?
Yes, if you feel this course has not given you any benefit within 30 days we will refund you.
STILL HAVE QUESTIONS?
LET'S TALK!
I totally understand this is a big commitment, and I'm here to help you decide whether Life Beyond Monogamy is right for you or not. Just send me your message or question and I'll get back to you ASAP.